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Tim Member  Member#: 238 Location: Registered: 01-06-2003 Diary Entries: 343 Mood: Not enough time to do it all. |
10th July 2008 Windsurfing: Brog race 10 Wind Direction: Wind Stength: Surf / Sea State: Air Temperature: Sea Temperature: Weather: Max Speed: Distance Covered: Race10 - Report for 10th July 2008 You know if I was of a sensitive natured disposition, I could develop a complex about this bloody Wind God! Maybe he got out of bed the wrong side the morning of the race, but whatever the cause he was in a bloody awkward mood! It had blown all day and there was considerable debate on the size of sail that was needed to give maximum performance. Then the Wind God had a strop, produced a large amount of cloud cover and the wind dropped from force five to force two in as many minutes. Reluctantly the White Whales were dragged from their lair (do Whales live in a lair I ask myself? Perhaps a Whalery would be a better description) The Hoff who now takes racing really seriously (ever since the demise of one of his toes) is seen weighing these giant mammals to see which is lightest one, all a bit extreme if you ask me. They are all dragged to the shore as the wind continues to abate, Mr Foreman is seen making for the race boards due to once again a lack of whales as did Jo and Keith . There was a certain debate on the course. It was suggested that Mike Milnthorpe should be part of the course as he had spent most of the afternoon in the water trying to master his new soup dish. But it was felt he might float about a bit too much, so we opted for the same course as last week, much to the relief of Paul, who thought there was a possibility he might remember it this week! The start saw 11 contestants leap across the start line and make for the first mark, remarkably uneventful for the beginning of a Brogborough race. No crashing about or dumping of sails on some unwary participant (all rather dull really). The Hoff rounded the mark first with Helium Mike snapping at his remaining toes, Andre , Tim, Chris and the Boulter came next while the others all followed close behind. The upwind mark saw one or two drift into large clumps of weed that lay in wait just off the point. Andre tacked away from these carnivorous underwater weeds that threatened to entangle and snare any mariner that strayed too close. He bore down on RooTim who was either unaware that Starboard had right of way or hadn’t noticed the oncoming Whale bearing down on him all guns blazing. The result was a sudden sickening thud as two white whales collided. Andre after recovering his rig continued on his mission to sink the whole fleet before the end of the first lap. His next victim was apparently going to be me. Now I may not be able to sail as well as some, but this old Sea Dog knows the laws of racing. As Andre approached there’s a scream of “STARBOARD” that caused several Grebe’s to dive for cover.Andre taken back by this sudden abuse abandoned his mission “of the most tonnage sunk in peacetime on Brogborough Lake” and continued his pursuit of the Hoff. As the race progressed things became more a procession than anything else. The Hoff continued to forge ahead. Mike and Andre still pursued, while Tim tried desperately to get on terms with the leaders, yours truly was next with Paul closing on him every minute. Mr Boulter had peaked too early and was slipping back while Chris seemed to be having a bit of a weed problem on his jagged fin (that will teach him to swipe a race board), further back still saw Jo ,Keith and Simon the Shark battle out the lower positions. As the race reached its climax the procession continued. The clouds darkened and it started to rain, the lake took on a dark threatening look as the boards cut through the darkened water, huge clumps of weed floated by like enormous Jelly fish, tentacles extended from these deadly clumps looking to ensnare any unwary mariner. The whole scenario looking like some ghastly horror film from the Black Lagoon! As the race neared its climax it was looking like an easy win for the Hoff, but life has many twists that we least expect, one of those twists was about to occur on the watery depths of Brogborough! As the Hoff reached the windward mark an awful mutation took place. THE HOFF ONCE AGAIN TRANSFORMED ITSELF INTO A FOUR TOED SLOTH. This new manifestation spotted a particularly large succulent clump of weed (for those of you who don’t know, the four toed sloths are vegetarian). The board slowed and then stopped, rivers of drool cascaded from the Sloth at the sight of such a meal (the whole thing would not be out of place in a remake of Aliens) Andre couldn’t believe his luck as he swept past this revolting sight. The site of being passed caused the manifestation to revert yet again and the Hoff strove vainly to make up the lost ground. So Andre took first place, while an extremely disgruntled Hoff stomped in second full of remorse and self pity! Mike took third place with Tim taking fourth , there was a battle for fifth. Paul had edged ahead of yours truly and despite me trying desperately to cover Paul’s progress to the finish line with a much larger sail it was all to no avail as Paul took fifth. Bit of a gap then before the Boulter loomed into view. Further back still saw Jo work her way up to eighth place (sadly missing female company, that returns next week) while Simon took ninth. Chris took tenth but seemed more intent in his botanical interests than actually racing (rumour has it he found 15 different species of weed) Keith’s latest racing improvement received a minor setback in eleventh place It goes without saying that as soon as the race had finished the wind god opened the gate again, back came a force 4! That guy really has got an attitude problem! As for the race you ask? THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS, THE RACE IS NEVER OVER UNTIL THAT FAT LADY SINGS! |
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